Nuns and Holy Water
(Attributed to Anon)
When nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels.
Several nuns are lined up at the gate, waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy.
“And so,” says St. Peter to the first one, “Have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
“Well,” says the Nun, “I did once just touch the tip of one with the end of my finger.”
“OK” says St. Peter, “Dip your finger in the holy water and pass on into heaven.”
The next Nun admits that, “Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit.”
“OK” says St. Peter, “Rinse your hand in the holy water and pass on into heaven.”
Suddenly, there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.
“Well now, what’s going on here?” says St. Peter.
“Well, your holyness,” says the Nun, who is trying to improve her position in line, “If I’m going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her arse in it.”